


Falling Apart

by DecemberKat



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Bonding, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Post XMA, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 22:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8303302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberKat/pseuds/DecemberKat
Summary: In the privacy of his room, Hank grieves for the man he loved.





	

In the safety of his room back at the X-Mansion, Hank finally fall apart. The pain in his body, still sore from being used like a dog toy in Cairo, felt like nothing compared to the pain of losing Alex. True, the two of them hadn't seen each other in months, but Hank couldn't help thinking that perhaps, if he'd lived, Alex would have... would have...  
Hank's thoughts broke down as he started sobbing in earnest, trying to keep his grief quiet so as not to disturb the sleeping students. A few moments later, he heard a knock at the door. Hank froze.  
“Uh... Dr McCoy? Is everything alright?” Shit, Hank thought. It was Scott, Alex's kid brother. He was dealing with so much, he didn't need to see one of his new teachers bawling like a child. Hank cleared his throat and wiped away the tears as best he could.  
“Go back to bed Scott,” he said, not-unkindly. “Tomorrow's a school day.” He heard the younger man chuckle from the hall.  
“Y'don't say,” he muttered. A moment later, “I couldn't sleep. Can I talk to you? About Alex?” Hank swallowed and tried again to wipe the remaining tears from his eyes.  
“I'll be out in a bit,” he said finally. “Meet me in the kitchen.”

A few minutes later Hank walked into the downstairs kitchen and got to work making chamomile tea for himself and the young man sitting morosely at the island counter. Finally, he sat down across from Scott, who plaintively ignored the large mug that Hank slid across to him.  
“Alex died trying to protect us,” Hank said quietly. “A hero, if that makes you feel any better.” Scott took a deep, shaky breath and finally wrapped his hands around the mug.  
“It should,” said the teenager. “I feel like it should but...” He paused, clearly holding back a sob. “I just want my brother back!” Hank blinked to hold back his own tears and reached across the table.  
“I know.”  
“Alex was gay,” Scott blurted out finally. Hank sat up ramrod straight and blinked in confusion. “I mean, Mom and Dad didn't know, but...” he paused and chuckled lightly. “I knew. I might be colorblind, but I'm not... blind-blind.” Another moment passed.  
“I see.” Hank said neutrally. Scott studied the older man's face for a moment, then blurted,  
“Were you and Alex... together?” Hank choked on the sip of tea he'd had in his mouth and had to cough ungracefully for a few minutes before he could talk.  
“Would...” he began. “Would it bother you if we were?” Scott shrugged.  
“Well... I-- no, I don't think so. He... he talked about you once. He seemed... happy to have you in his life.” Hank felt his cheeks burn as he glanced down into his mug.  
“So was I,” Hank confessed. It felt good to tell someone, someone he could talk about Alex with that knew him and knew about their relationship. “Alex was... a very special person. It sounds... almost cliché, but he truly lit up any room he walked into... figuratively speaking, of course.” Scott laughed.  
“Eh, usually.” he chuckled. Hank smiled unabashedly for the first time since Alex died. They talked further for a few more minutes while they finished their tea.  
Afterwards, Hank walked Scott back up to his room with a smile on his face. When he got back to his quarters he took out the framed photograph of himself and Alex after their first mission together from the drawer in his bedside table. They looked happy, Alex grinning shamelessly at the camera while Hank was smiling a bit more self-consciously, but standing tall and furry still with his arm wrapped around the blond man's waist. Gently, Hank set the photo carefully on his bedside table and turned off the lamp.  
Maybe, someday, he'd find someone like Alex, confident and accepting of who he was. But for now, sleep would have to do.


End file.
